I don't feel well....I just don't. Auto immune disorders and cold weather combined are the devil. I hurt, my skin crawls, I have headaches and I want to sleep right now. So is life. However, I am making due with little to no complaining (except what was just said), and zero medication. I'm not sure if you've ever been diagnosed with an auto immune disease, or treated, but let me just explain how the Dr. visit might go down.
Personal experience.....
A skin rash appears on my neck and chest, after being in the sun, which feels like my skin is being chemically peeled off of my body.
Clearly, I make an appointment with the Dermatologist (thinking it's sun poisoning).
They do a biopsy (which I still bear the hideous butcher job scar from), and I go back one week later to find out the results.
You have a rare skin disease called Dariers. There is only one known treatment and it only suppresses the appearance.
Well duh, I want the treatment.
They bring in an 1/2 inch thick package of papers for you to sign....basically stating, if anything adverse happens to you while taking this drug, they are not responsible. It's a pill form of Chemo.
No thank you! I'll continue to have my skin crawl.
Another personal example....
Years of joint pain (literally years...like since I was in middle school) and finally diagnosed with RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis). Except the medication has more side affects than the disease itself. Including, requiring you to take other medication to treat symptoms brought on from the RA medication.
Are you kidding me?! Why can't I just have a pulled muscle or something?
The only saving grace any of my diagnoses hold are: I am diagnosed, so I know how to treat, live, eat and I'M NOT CRAZY (that's a biggie)!!!
So....in finally finding out what the heck was wrong with me, and why I felt like death the majority of the time, and knowing I don't want that stupid medication (sorry for the run-on), I diet, I exercise and I rest.
In doing so, I lost weight, almost immediately actually. It fell off of me, because I got out of bed. I resisted the urge to lie down and quit. I resisted the urge to eat the same amount I did before, because over eating made my acid indigestion worse (which I got from years of taking Ibuprofen for the pain....which I haven't had one of in over 8 months). I resist the urge to eat that huge piece of chocolate cake over eating some fresh fruit because the sugar causes my heart to race while digesting (which I'm sure is related to the mile long list of problems I already have). I resist the urge to snack constantly, because any additional weight I put on requires me to sleep propped up, due to my acid indigestion (again). I enjoy running, because other wise I become stiff from lack of joint movement. I enjoy yoga and stretching for the same reason. So, in summary....I try to eat well and live a healthy lifestyle. I require no meds, and find my pain and discomfort easily manageable and tolerated. I'm tired, yes. Don't ask me to help you paint an entire house....I'm lucky to paint two walls in a weekend, in my own house. Don't ask me to be somewhere at 6 am, just no. Also, don't ask me to stay out somewhere after about 10...because I am in the bed. There are major, lifestyle adjustments I have had to make to prolong quality of life with out medication. But I'm doing it, and it's working well.
I say all of this to come to this point.....I'm thin, because I eat right, not because I don't eat. I am 5 foot tall, and an extra 10 pounds on me is very significant....not only because my clothes will no longer fit, but because it will put me in the bed. I eat right for my health, because I too want to be around for a long time.
If I had a dime for how many times people offered me food out of pity, or told me I was to thin, or my favorite is "you need to eat a few cheeseburgers", I would be a wealthy woman. I do not go around telling overweight women they need to eat a salad, nor do I tell people they are fat. It is the same thing, it is not a nice gesture to point out one's weight of any kind. Especially, when health wise....I CANNOT have the things you offer. It's a temptation and not nice. I am a perfect weight for my frame and build....so says the Dr. I am petite...which literally means....I am little :). I am very appreciative of everyone's concerns, because it let's me know I am loved. If you feel you need to feed me, I happen to LOVE fresh pineapple and strawberries. I also have a hard time turning down those little Cuties....because they are delicious. Support me in my venture of a healthier lifestyle....join in even (please, you might be surprised at how addictive it is). Allow me to be happy, healthy and little.
This blog is brought to you today because of a co-worker that informed me "men like meat, not bones" and I needed to eat the oreo, chocolate chip cookie dough, double fudge brownies she brought in this morning (diabetes in a pan, no thanks), and...it just so happens....my husband thinks I am perfect :).
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