I have one question, who's idea was this "Elf on a Shelf" idea? Because we might just need to rally against them and burn them at the stake. Busy, working mothers unite!!!
The holidays have always been a chaotic time, always. Since as long as I can remember it was a lot of running, crowds, money, clutter and forced visitation with the family you prefer to spend the rest of the year apart from. I'm not trying to be a scrooge, because I love Christmas. It is definately up on my favorite list, but it is just a crazy time of year. So apparently some mother somewhere thought, "hmmm, wonder what new tradition I can add to Christmas?" because Santa, food, shopping, decorating and so on wasn't enough. So this mother created the grand "Elf on a Shelf". This little elf is assigned to your family for the rest of it's life, which basically is as many Christmas' as your child believes (and who wants to be the parent to inform them that "I am Santa"?). They show up around the first of December every year and watch your kids during the day so they can report to Santa at night. This is a genius behavior manipulation idea! I mean these sneaky little elves keep our kid's elbows off the table, require please and thank you and Grace has even started randomly picking up stuff around the house when the elf is there. This will be the 3rd Christmas "Lil Red" has been there, but oh my gosh the pressure.
The first year we got him, you sit down and read the story, name the elf and place him somewhere inconspicuous to spy, then move his location every morning. That's easy....I can do that, especially if it's going to keep the brat side at bay. However, with the recent invention of Pinterest and Facebook and Instagram, this stupid little elf thing has gotten so out of control it has required an entire board on my Pinterest page dedicated to it's misbehavings. What am I talking about? Well....again....the elf wasn't enough, we couldn't stop with placing the elf on the shelf and leaving it be. Some mother somewhere (I GUARANTEE a stay at home mom with a maid and lots of free time on her hands) decided to add to it. "Oh, let's roll the living room in toilet paper and have the elf at the scene of the crime." "Let's make him a many fishing pole and let him go fish for gold fish out of the gold fish cracker box." "Let's let him roast many marshmellows over a tea light votive." Come on!!! Who has time to do this stuff?! I'm lucky to get my child to bed with her hair brushed and clean clothes for the next day. By the time I get the kids and come home, cook dinner, clean up after dinner, do laundry, the kids homework checked, pick up the house, shower the kids, tuck them in, walk the dogs, feed the dogs, clean the litter box, wrap presents, address Christmas cards, etc....it's already like 1 am. I crash at this point and that stupid elf is the furthest thing from my mind. So I wake up at 5:45 to get a shower, walk the dogs, feed the dogs, dry my hair, wake up the kids, do breakfast, get ready, get them ready, teeth cleaned and out the door....only to hear on the way to the car "My elf didn't do anything last night...." come out of my sweet child's mouth. I have to hurry and make up an excuse as to why the elf was so well behaved and chose to stay in the Barbie car with Barbie and hurry to work to write an apology from the elf to give to her in the morning. I HATE THIS ELF!! Are you kidding me? I'm not that creative, nor do I have time to make a mess, blame the elf and have to clean it all up only to make a mess again. Why, oh why do we have to complicate something so sweet?
Incase you have forgotten, which I think 98% of Americans have, Jesus is the reason for the season. Not Santa, not the kids, not this stupid elf. We put so much time and effort into planning this elaborate celebration for the kids and everyone to see that we lose it completely. I don't even enjoy Christmas anymore. We buy things no one needs just so they have as many presents as the other kid does. We get so far in debt that we pay for it the rest of the year and sometimes it even carries over into the next. We have to put on the biggest light show so we can show up the neighbor. We have to wear the prettiest Christmas clothes so we can show up EVERYONE. AND....we have to make this elf do elaborate stunts so we can show up the mothers that have nothing else to do with their time! If we don't, our kids have to deal with the peer pressure and awesome stories of what Santa brought them, what their elf did last night and all the Christmas memories they make every year, from other kids at school. Quite frankly my child's not old enough to understand that it's not nice to brag anyway, but rather wonderful to be humble and kind. She does realize it's Jesus' Birthday, but also thinks Santa comes to both her Daddy's house and ours for her every year, so we are rather confused as well. This may be the last year with the elf, it may even be the last year with Santa....I haven't decided yet. I want to get back to simple. I want to cook and bake and give, not out do, out shop and out spend. I'm not in Church every Sunday and I'm not going to beat you in the head with The Bible or judge or condemn (Lord knows I'm far from perfect), but my faith is strong and I believe what I believe and it would take basically God Himself coming up to me and telling me differently for me to change my mind. However, this stupid elf is the furthest from the true reason for Christmas that I've seen yet and quite frankly I am tired of trying to keep up with the Jones'. (Boy this post went from funny to serious fast) Again I ask, why do we have to complicate something so sweet?
